The fulcrum of pain

Writing about pain is a difficult thing. Pain is a personal subject that means different things to each of us. It can be centered around loss and grief; it can even come from being abused in some way. Pain can come from depression, anxiety, or deep seeded feelings of inadequacy. Whatever the manifestation of pain is in a person's life, it is part of their story. Many experts agree that some form of pain is a universal part of the human experience. There are varying degrees of pain that individuals are capable of enduring, as well as the different levels that come packaged with a painful experience. As I unpack the concept of using pain as a leveraging agent, I want to be sensitive and compassionate. The idea that suffering can be a positive, can be a difficult concept with which to grapple. It often requires a shift in perspective. My hope is to get us thinking differently about the trauma in our lives. So, let us begin by viewing some people who have used affliction as a fulcrum to leverage fulfillment. Some of the world's highest performers, as well as many great success stories, arose from turmoil. Here are a few stories of people who overcame great hardship to reach high levels of fulfillment. 

Rob Jones was honorably discharged from the U.S. Marines in December 2012. While on deployment in Afghanistan in 2010, Jones was wounded in action by an IED; as a result, he became a double, above the knee amputee. After he recovered, Jones went on to become a decorated rower with the U.S. Paralympic team. On October 14th, 2013, Rob Jones embarked on a solo bike ride across America, which he began in Bar Harbor Maine. On April 13th, some 5,180 miles later, he landed at Camp Pendleton, California. Jones and his team raised 126,000 dollars for wounded veterans. In the fall of 2017, Rob Jones ran thirty-one marathons in thirty-one days and raised another 200,000 dollars. His story inspired me as I heard him tell it on Jocko Willink Podcast, Episode 92. For an in depth view into Jones's story, a link to his website and Jocko podcast will be included below. His inspirational story continues to be written and shared with audiences all over the country. 

The second story I will cite here is Bedros Kullian. Kullian is a serial entrepreneur who is the founder of the Fit Body Boot Camp brand. By all accounts he is very successful. It may surprise you to know that he and his family fled Eastern Europe to escape communism when he was only six years old. His family could not speak english and came here with almost no money. At one point when Kullian was young, he tells the story of dumpster diving for food. I am a fan of his books and inspirational message of no excuses. He is a great example of overcoming difficult times. His information is linked here. I could go on and on with stories that start dark and deep and move to great triumph, but there would be no end. 

As I observe life and the human condition, I see certain principles or laws play out. Much like the law of inertia and gravity, which are laws of physics. Many of these laws have some cross over into everyday human life. For example, The 

Law of Inertia says, a body in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another force. Think about this with your gym routine. It is more difficult to get started than it is to stay moving. The same holds true about healthy eating. It is much harder to get started than it is to stay on a program. Sowing and reaping is another parallel. This is an agricultural principle, to get or reap a harvest, we must prepare the ground, spread the seed, feed, water it, and keep the weeds and pests out. This is a metaphor for anything worthwhile in life. It is my belief, and the belief of many high performers that leveraging struggle is one of these principles. Coming in contact with difficulty creates emotional strength, this is what we will be unpacking below.

Now, let's take a look at the idea that stress or pain can result in growth and improvement. I see this play itself out in the physical realm. Let’s start with a look at our hands. Look down at them. Are they soft or tough? Smooth or calloused? What happens to our hands when we do difficult work? The body responds to the stress by forming calluses; therefore, our hands become tougher and able to take on a more difficult task next time. As an arborist for over thirty-five years, I have observed the principle that stress plays in wood growth. In Claus Mattheck’s book, The Body Language of Trees, he lays out the concept that trees produce wood faster in areas where they are most stressed. They “harden themselves” to the wind. If a young tree is staked to protect it from the wind and the tree is not allowed to move the tree will be weak. The irony is in how the very act of trying to protect the tree, actually weakens it. Often the tree will break exactly where the stakes were tied. Building muscle is the same way. In order to grow muscles and get stronger, they must be taxed. The muscle is literally torn down by pushing weight. Muscles get sore and then rebuild bigger and stronger adapting to the new load. Bones work in the same way. By stressing bones from activity, they become more dense. As I have made these observations in the physical realm and listened to a multitude of testimonies from people like the aforementioned Rob Jones, Bedros Kullian, and countless others, it seemed like simple math. Our struggles, pain, failures, and setbacks can work as a change agent for good, by pressing up against life you create an emotional maturity or callous, if you will. Some trauma in life is super heavy and difficult to navigate alone. Perhaps in those circumstances, getting professional help through a therapist or counselor could help properly leverage that experience to strengthen you as an individual.

In closing, please understand that our survival instinct will actively work against us. In situations where our brains perceive pain, it will tell us to avoid it at all costs. As a quick disclaimer, I am not suggesting that we should purposefully put ourselves at risk of serious injury. What I am saying is that not all pain is to be avoided. Some of the most valuable lessons we learn in life are a direct result of some form of pain, from failed relationships, to hurting your knuckles wrenching on a car. All of these experiences teach us something. Pain is a catalyst for change. Think about sayings like “no pain no gain” or “embrace the suck” these are rooted in the concept of using pain as a fulcrum. In the words of David Goggins, regarded by many as the hardest man alive, “ we have to callous our minds.” My hope here is not to have this idea of start and end here. My desire is to create a curiosity around the concept of pain resulting in growth. The hope is that we would explore the topic and do more research on our own. I did not invent this concept. I was merely made aware of it by rubbing up against life, observing, and listening to the life experiences of others. If we can train ourselves in understanding that the winds of life which blow against us are actually helping to strengthen us we may begin to have a different relationship with our trials.